Tashlich and Daddy On The Water

Oh Boy. What a week. As my DD, Partner and I prepare for my Mother's Rosh Hashanna visit, I am overcome by memories of the past 39 years as we also prepare for my Beloved Father's Yarzheit which falls right smack dab in between Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur! Yup, right there in the middle. How classically is that,"not recorded in the Book" for the coming year :-(  The year before my Father's passing his friends, Father and I think my Uncle, helped him prepare his Boat, the Bryan-Lee, named for me and my brother (as my Dad said we were our parent's replacements on Earth for the continuation of our faith-), for what He seemed to know was going to be his final boating season. He always prepared the boat the first week of May (we lived in Ohio) and then it went to Dry Dock sometime after Yom Kippur.

In our faith each year we participate in Tashlich, the ritualistic, "casting off" of our sins. : "And you shall cast their sins into the depths of the sea". It is a custom that I learned came from the Babylonian period of our history. Tashlich can also represents the concept of "do not waste" As we toss pieces of bread into a moving body of water to be carried away (or if you are fortunate enough to live in NY, NY they toss bagels off the bridges !- true story, I saw it one year while in Med School) It is a good ritual and very environmentally friendly, as the fish will eat the food and it will not be wasted. It is also good because evidently fish can't be seen by that "evil eye" so no one energy source can find the bread and look at it and know what sins we commited... or so the story I learned goes. To read more about that go to www.about.com.Judaism .

I learned in the year of my becoming a Bat Mitzvah that the reason my Father didn't come to Temple with us periodically was because he was out on the boat, "praying". I always thought he just didn't want to sit through the services, which as a kid, I often found to be boring and I didn't connect with on a level of personal meaning.... His last summer he told me about Tashlich and how he would "cast off" and recite special prayers in preparation for his final day of Attonement. He planned to spend his final ten days righting things that needed to be addressed.

It is because of my Father's ritual that when I learned about Wine Poems in my Introduction to Classical Jewish History Course with Dr. Joe Davis (amazing Professor of Jewish History and Jewish Thought at Gratz College,) that I wrote and later copyrighted the following poem that I will share here, along with a photo taken by my Uncle on the day the Bryan-Lee was being prepared for it's and my Father's final season and His final Tashlich.

Daddy On The Water

Daddy on the water
Daddy on the dock
Daddy at the ready before It's five O'clock
Daddy sitting smiling
Daddy at the bow
Daddy at the ready before It's five o'clock
Daddy praying
Daddy staying
Daddy at the ready before It's five o'clock
Daddy swimming
Daddy fishing
Daddy at the ready before it's five o'clock
Daddy making memories
Daddy and the dog
Daddy at the ready before it's five o'clock
Daddy humbled
Daddy bleeding
Daddy isn't ready now it's five o'clock
Daddy's Daughter ready
To parent on her own
Daddy's Daughter wishes
He was here now that she is grown
Daddy on the water
Oh so far from home.

With my Eldest cousin Ralph as a baby

 My Father Walter Vendeland (Olive ben Joshua)
 as a young man (above) and the in the year of his Passing 1974(below).


Watching the Bryan-Lee being prepped for its season.
Photo by Allan J. Vendeland




For all pray-ers in this season of new beginnings go to: www.yizkor.ort.org:808/html/memprayer.shtml

I wish for everyone a sweet New Year, one filled with all the good things that life has to offer, an easy fast and finally enough reflection into our own lives to know that Tashlich has more to do with not wasting our lives than what we are throwing to the fish.