Tashlich and Daddy On The Water

Oh Boy. What a week. As my DD, Partner and I prepare for my Mother's Rosh Hashanna visit, I am overcome by memories of the past 39 years as we also prepare for my Beloved Father's Yarzheit which falls right smack dab in between Rosh Hashanna and Yom Kippur! Yup, right there in the middle. How classically is that,"not recorded in the Book" for the coming year :-(  The year before my Father's passing his friends, Father and I think my Uncle, helped him prepare his Boat, the Bryan-Lee, named for me and my brother (as my Dad said we were our parent's replacements on Earth for the continuation of our faith-), for what He seemed to know was going to be his final boating season. He always prepared the boat the first week of May (we lived in Ohio) and then it went to Dry Dock sometime after Yom Kippur.

In our faith each year we participate in Tashlich, the ritualistic, "casting off" of our sins. : "And you shall cast their sins into the depths of the sea". It is a custom that I learned came from the Babylonian period of our history. Tashlich can also represents the concept of "do not waste" As we toss pieces of bread into a moving body of water to be carried away (or if you are fortunate enough to live in NY, NY they toss bagels off the bridges !- true story, I saw it one year while in Med School) It is a good ritual and very environmentally friendly, as the fish will eat the food and it will not be wasted. It is also good because evidently fish can't be seen by that "evil eye" so no one energy source can find the bread and look at it and know what sins we commited... or so the story I learned goes. To read more about that go to www.about.com.Judaism .

I learned in the year of my becoming a Bat Mitzvah that the reason my Father didn't come to Temple with us periodically was because he was out on the boat, "praying". I always thought he just didn't want to sit through the services, which as a kid, I often found to be boring and I didn't connect with on a level of personal meaning.... His last summer he told me about Tashlich and how he would "cast off" and recite special prayers in preparation for his final day of Attonement. He planned to spend his final ten days righting things that needed to be addressed.

It is because of my Father's ritual that when I learned about Wine Poems in my Introduction to Classical Jewish History Course with Dr. Joe Davis (amazing Professor of Jewish History and Jewish Thought at Gratz College,) that I wrote and later copyrighted the following poem that I will share here, along with a photo taken by my Uncle on the day the Bryan-Lee was being prepared for it's and my Father's final season and His final Tashlich.

Daddy On The Water

Daddy on the water
Daddy on the dock
Daddy at the ready before It's five O'clock
Daddy sitting smiling
Daddy at the bow
Daddy at the ready before It's five o'clock
Daddy praying
Daddy staying
Daddy at the ready before It's five o'clock
Daddy swimming
Daddy fishing
Daddy at the ready before it's five o'clock
Daddy making memories
Daddy and the dog
Daddy at the ready before it's five o'clock
Daddy humbled
Daddy bleeding
Daddy isn't ready now it's five o'clock
Daddy's Daughter ready
To parent on her own
Daddy's Daughter wishes
He was here now that she is grown
Daddy on the water
Oh so far from home.

With my Eldest cousin Ralph as a baby

 My Father Walter Vendeland (Olive ben Joshua)
 as a young man (above) and the in the year of his Passing 1974(below).


Watching the Bryan-Lee being prepped for its season.
Photo by Allan J. Vendeland




For all pray-ers in this season of new beginnings go to: www.yizkor.ort.org:808/html/memprayer.shtml

I wish for everyone a sweet New Year, one filled with all the good things that life has to offer, an easy fast and finally enough reflection into our own lives to know that Tashlich has more to do with not wasting our lives than what we are throwing to the fish.



Of Avatars ,Adventures and Addictions- Is an Avatar the 21st Century's Graven Image?

This past week my Technology and The Future of Jewish Education course at Gratz  College came to a close. What a whirlwind ride, and as the famous Dr. Seuss quote suggests, " oh the places I went !" And what a heck of a lot of fun too! We learned to make Avatars of ourselves ( I made 2: one a morphed picture of myself and a second one of me as a cartoon character with a pet fox). If my newly acquired skills have been retained  past my short term memory, I am going to embed them into this blog post for your enjoyment :-) I learned how to make cartoons and animate them and used a program called "Second Life" to make yet another Avatar of myself to take a virtual tour of the American Holocaust Museum, which I highly recommend . Try a tour yourself at http://www.ushmm.org/museum/exhibit/focus/kristallnacht.
I walked my Avatar to the cliff outside of the museum and tried to make it jump up into the sea below. Guess what? She wouldn't do it! There are two additional avatar programs  that could be interesting to explore as well: Timeless Jerusalem Testimonials, at www.youtube.com/watch?v=uHI8d3Aiir4   and Sviva Israel at www.svivaisrael.org  or follow this wonderful program that is a leading environmental education organization connecting people globally through environmental education, social  action and technology,  www.twitter.com/svivaisrael or ( @svivaisrael) .

Well, I am not really going to go into the details about the self preservation instinct of my Avatar, or about my virtual tour, but instead my thoughts  have progressed to the value of images that are made up. Are these Avatars the 21st century Graven Images? Do we actually worship modern technology? Is it addictive and harmful?

Exodus 20:4-6 tells us that we are not to make an image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath. Avatars are images of people. We don't worship them though, so I really don't think that we are breaking the second commandment.

 I do worry however about our children spending so much time in virtual games and gaming. Why? Although video games and gaming can be fun as well as entertaining, and educational, they can negatively impact a person's life when the enjoyment overtakes other life pursuits and  then impact that person's life negatively. They become additive. It is said with drugs, alcohol and other negative behaviors that the user "worships" the _____. Fill in the blank as appropriate. I don't think that the use of an Avatar is really going to lead to addiction, but for now I think that I am going to limit my use of them to educational pursuits.  No sense in worrying about "the other places" they may lead me.

 

 

 

Online Gaming For Rosh Hashanah to Build Stronger Relationships in the New Year?

Today I return to my blog assignment after making arrangements for my Mother to come for Rosh Hashanah. She is a little intimidated by computers and her town doesn't have a travel agent anymore, so if I want her here with us for " The Holidays," I am the one who has to get online. Not a big deal in the greater scheme of things to be sure. It is actually my pleasure to do so, as I get her pretty much all to myself this way!  What is a big deal though is this one seemingly simple task, that my Mother can't or won't perform herself just baffles me.

While pondering this simple task, my mind turns toward my weekly Technology in Jewish Education lectures, Epic Adventures and my intense motivation to succeed in life. A very strange connection between these seemingly unconnected entities to be sure! It is however quite simple. My Mother was my role model growing up. A young woman left to raise two small children on her own after my beloved Father passed. She proved that you could succeed at just about anything against many obstacles. Especially if there was something very specific and important that had to be done. She never failed to amaze me. She made sure we had a roof over our heads, food on the table, we participated in sports, scouting, went to Temple services regularly, Hebrew School, Sunday School, piano lessons, choir, youth groups.... She was the first to volunteer in Sisterhood, helped sew uniform vests and sashes for scouting, lead and baked for bake sales and was Mom to many kids in our neighborhood who were latch key kids. All while working 2, sometimes 3 jobs. Not to mention that she also managed to earn a college education with a perfect grade point average and become an RN.

Well, this week while watching a TED video of Jane Mc Gonigal titled "Gaming can make a Better World." http://www.ted.com/talks/jane_mcgonicgal_gaming_can_make_a_better_world.htm I gained a keen insight into my Mom. Jane points out that in gaming there is a specific goal in the game and that players have an urgent optimism: they need to act immediately and have a virtual hope for success in attaining the goal at hand. We weave a tighter social fabric, have stronger connections with the people who play by the same rules and "play with us" or are doing the same thing at the same time with us. This is what she deems to produce my Mother's blissful productivity( of which she is rightfully proud) and her ever "eye-brow up" ah- ha super powered hopefulness of gaining what we call the "epic win". Which of course for her was making it through the game called life. Her version is very last century but a familiar one to many single parents even in this the 21st C!

As Jews we are taught that we need to be ever active in looking for ways to participate in tikkun olam (repairing our world). Thus I have been spurred into action to improve the New Year for everyone, I have goggled and binged and I have a few suggestions for Rosh Hashanah themed games. Since I am sure that we all want to do a little to help weave a tighter Jewish social fabric for the New Year. Let's try follow Dr. McGonigal's hypothesis and see if it has any validity for us. Gaming can build a better world, or so she says...

The first is to go through your entire list of friends on your smart phone and invite them to each play a simple game of words with friends ( www.wordswithfriends,com), but using only words or events that have to do with the new year: Shofar, apples, honey, facts about the holiday such as the day the holiday begins (the first of Tishri), where the shofar comes from, appropriate greetings and stuff like that. If you need some ammunition you can check out 
 www.teacherlink.ed.usu.edu/tiresources/units/Byrnes-celebratins/rosh.html
.For those who are kids at heart there are new games that are easy to find at www.torahtots.com/holidays/rosh/roshfng.htm : jigsaw puzzles, sliding puzzles, online paint and prints for the whole family, and a great online version of the word find game! All kid tested and Mom approved (me, not my Mom, LOL).
My last suggestion which is sure to help build stronger relationships for the New Year is a New Year E-Card.  There are eight available at no charge at www.chabad.org/kids/article_cdo/aid/549387/jewish/High_Holidays.htm .

Now, I am not sure that I can get my Mom to participate in gaming with me online this Rosh Hashanah, or that she will think that gaming will help repair the world, but I may be wrong.. She is always up for a good puzzle and always enjoys that "ah-ha" moment at the end when the last piece fits neatly into place and the goal at hand is accomplished. She always has.

Looking for Jewish Connections: Chavurah and Contributions

Last week I wrote about the iphone and prayer and learned that there is indeed Tanahk for All available through the itunes app store. I also did a small experiment and simply shut off my electronics for Shabbat. I enjoyed tremendous peace but was pretty much," land locked," since I was on call to the Hospital's Labor and Delivery floor, I needed to be near a phone. There were no beeps, blings, whirls or melodies emitting from any device: it was so NICE! Oh yes, there was one beautiful little girl born, but on Sunday.

This week we are studying about modern Chavurah in the mobile age. Chavurah comes from the root chaver, and can mean peer, friend or fellowship. The plural form is chavurot. Traditional style Chavruta ("paired") learning usally occurs in a Yeshiva, or similar setting where students challenge each other to analyze, explore and explain material that they are studying before a class.  It occurs at long tables in a large learning hall , where the Chavruta pairs are all simultaneously pointing out perceived errors in the partners' reasoning and each student is trying to help the other come to a better understanding of the traditional texts. Quite a lively place these learning halls! I am not sure how each pair can focus and drown out all of the other conversations, since I do my best thinking at 3 am in the quiet of the night :-) But it seems to be a learning system that has stood the test of time.


Since the 1970's  Chavurot typically decribe people who meet on a regular basis to study or celebrate Jewish life cycle events together.  My wiki search this morning ( http://wikipedia.org/ ) brought me to this statement about the emphasis of Chavurot." Most chavurot place an emphasis on egalitarianism in the broad sense (of which gender is one piece) depending on participation by the entire community rather than top-down direction by clergy." Much in the spirit of this definition, I would define our Forum posts and discussions for each of our Gratz On-Line classes. We have the luxury of peace and quiet by which to focus our thoughts and form logical cohesive arguments without other students shouting their point of view just a few feet away from us. Ideally, we each post and respond to one another and help each other better understand the course material and perhaps attain new insights. Ideally we connect to each other and make contributions to each other's learning.

How else can we make adult learning connections, contributions and become part of Chavurot in the 21st century? There are so many wonderful opportunities both real and virtual! Here are just a few ideas I've uncovered: Adult camp! Yes Summer camp! Go to http://www.havurah.org/ The National Havurah Committee is offering a program Aug 5, 2013 - Aug 11, 2013 in New Hampshire... study, prayer, "spirited conversations," and hiking!  Another idea is to join a chavurah, find one at http://chavurah.com/ . They even offer a guide to starting your own Chavurah.  For more ideas check out  http://Torah.org/ .  If you like the radio there is Radio Chavura with learning programming every Sunday at 1830 hrs (990 KRKS AM in Denver).

Finally, I realize that this last suggestion isn't very technical, not cloud based and doesn't require a single piece of digital software , but it is still very relevant in the 21st Century: Go to your local Temple. There are like minded individuals, there are peers who can challenge your perceptions, help you participate more fully in (Jewish)life and help find ways to repair the world. And you don't have to do it yourself at 3 in the morning.

Shavua Tov

Making space for Technology & making a sacred place to live without it...

In my last blog post I discussed using the iphone to help facilitate my tefillah connection with Ha Shem and my "Community". This has had me thinking about the wonderful uses of technology in our daily life. There are so many things I do daily as a Physician and as a Mom that depend on using these tools. I make entries in patient records, check lab results, even look at Labor tracings from the screen that I am closest to at the particular moment when I  want or need to. I have daily reminders of when to pick up my DD and where (assuredly a good thing) , appointments, meetings, a running and an ever growing "to do list." I use the iphone app to guide my prayers, even though I mostly remember them by heart, and to read the daily Parsha as I said previously. I use educational apps with my DD this summer to keep her sharp and help her learn to read and practice her phonics with me while we are out to occupy her. She will even practice drawing her Aleph/ Bet using the app: she thinks its a game. ( itunes app store: WAGmob, Learn Hebrew Writing for those of you who are interested) I think I am so sneaky , getting her to practice without telling her to do it.

Overall, most days I think I am pretty good at most of my jobs. Well all of them but one lately and that is what this post is really about. WE ARE SO CONCERNED WITH MAKING SPACE FOR TECHNOLOGY IN OUR LIVES THAT WE AREN'T VERY GOOD AT MAKING A SACRED PLACE TO LIVE WITHOUT IT.

For example, Today when I am stuck waiting with my DD, I give her an electronic device to "occupy" her. She gets to watch Mommy approved TV in the car, or play on my ipad. When I was a kid and we had to wait somewhere and had no crayons with us, or books, or homework to do, I sang with and without the radio, or made up funny jokes or talked non-stop ( I am sure to my Parents' delight -NOT). A lot of times I would just fight with my brother to have something to do! Quite a typical kid. Eventually I would wind down. Most of us had the same growing up experience. That is how most of us learned to find that still, quiet place inside of us. Now, how do we spontaneously re-teach ourselves and our children to find that sacred place without all of the outside "connectivity" that we are so dependent on?

It is simple: TURN EVERYTHING OFF(once in awhile, what would it hurt?)I will compare this to  the onset of a thunder storm and the quiet that ensues afterwards. Waves of technology are much like thunder. They beep at us, vibrate us and jolt us to full consciousness, even from a sound sleep.

In my net surfing, yes between patients, I looked for  Jewish teachings about thunder and quiet, and I came across this story:  www.chabad.org/kids/article_cdo/aid/2038/jewish/The-Story-of-Shavuot/     In this story of Shavuot, "Thunder and lightning rent the air and the sound of the shofar was heard growing strangely louder and louder. All the people in the camp of Israel trembled. Then all was quiet again. The air was very still. Not a sound was to be heard. Every living thing held its breath. Even the angels interrupted their heavenly praises. Everybody and everything kept silent...waiting."

So for today, although I have no tips for finding that sacred quiet place, I am going to try on just one day to turn everything off, in ,on and around me and wait...

Is it better to engage with words of Torah on Shabbos on the iphone vs not at all?

Today marks the beginning of my life in the fast lane of technology: I have an assignment to become a blogger for my Technology in Jewish Education class from Gratz College! I have also been given a mission. So for those of you who don't know me well, I will start by saying that I am an OB/GYN in private practice in Florida. My iphone lives in or on my person just about 24/7. I spend lots of sleepless nights... many days I sing prayers in the car (through the bluetooth connection to my iphone)on the way to a delivery or emergency, or coming home from one, or the office. Oh yes, I am also a modern day Mom. So add to that schlepping my DD to and from school and activities, homework, "quality time", etc.  I have a black Lab puppy and a partner: there is never a dull moment.

I participate in a weekly Torah study with a great group of mostly women (once in awhile a male Pastor and a Husband or two,) led by our wonderful Cantor, who BTW, sings like an angel, and other than taking DD to Religious School (she is 6) I seldom make it to my Temple. It is sad because I love the sense of community I feel when there ( our Rabbi says He wants us to think of it as our second home and I do in many ways)and always leave with a pearl or two to help me live my life in a more integrated and Jewish way.

Over the past couple of years I probably have visited as many Jewish themed sites as there are on the net.I have an iT'filah program loaded on my iphone so I can Daven anywhere and anytime. I haven't yet looked for the iTanakh, but I will. I also recieve the weekly Parsha through two different sources as well as a children's version from another source. I READ THEM FROM MY IPHONE. I DON"T BELIEVE THAT THIS ACT DECREASES THE SANCTITY OF THE TEXT. Even the prayer we recite before studying these texts encourages us, in any way that is appropriate. We engage with the words of the Torah.

In this century engaging has to be accessible (check), beneficial (check), cost effective(remains to be seen), and easy to use(check): the iphone is on me 24/7 remember? We are part of a community who is also engaging with these words, even if we are not in the same physical space or at the same moment in time. The URJ's epublication V'Shinantam (the Union for Reform Judaism National Teacher's Newsletter) No II, 5763 speaks about our comfort learning with different tools. Using the iphone is a tool. Just a tool.  The text, if treated appropriately, can be studied anywhere really. And just as sacredly :-)